emotions

the reason why i haven't been posting about my thoughts for weeks is because i'm gradually losing sight of a reason to. i'm constantly finding myself re-adapting and changing to the point where i feel as if bits of me are dropping off as i slowly disintegrate... you know those dreams where your teeth start to drop off and you're scared that pieces of your face will do the same? it's as if i'm losing my identity. the point is, i haven't been able to reconcile with all my emotions for the past few months. while the previous me would have immediately lunge into a tirade of prose and poetry to clear my thoughts or confide in all my best friends and talk and talk about it, the now me seems to be passively receiving all the events that have happened- and so when i hurt, i never have the capacity to explicitly express how i'm feeling. nor do i find the urge to do so. as a result i think some mistakenly think i'm indifferent..? idk =\ what i know is that i miss having my close friends around, people who show me that they care. half-hearted, narrow socializing is driving me nuts.


but today was nice (: (: ma maison is definitely somewhere you should NOT MISS OUT ON.

at least this is going to tide me through for a while. i hope i won't have cause to forget how happy i am at this moment in time to come...