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Today couldn't have been worse.

I got back bio and it was literally a slap in the face. I ran 5 rounds around the track to shake off the terrible feeling but it kinda made things worse cuz the moment I returned to class I found myself sitting on the floor and crying my eyes out. I just felt so weak, stupid and inadequate, it was like nobody wanted me with my current talents (if any) and results. Honestly, no sane jc would. And I felt like the class was swallowing me down whole. So it took me 5 rounds around the track and my very sore eyes before I felt that the world was a tad bit welcoming.

I was about to leave class when Ernzzz called to ask if I wanted to study with him and it was really shocking cause he couldn't have chosen a better time to call. I did nothing productive with Ernest at the library but it really made me feel a lot more at home seeing a long-time friend :) And he was extra nice today to get me whatever I requested for. Met a very worried Dawn after (I think I made her worry in the phone call) and we had one of our heart-to-heart talks at the bus stop again. DAWN CHICK SAVED ME TODAY :D

So anyway a disappointment in bio made me realise how much everyone cares for me over my grades and I really thank God for that. I was questioning God why He had put me through this the moment I saw my marks and maybe now I know the reason :) I was pretty shocked when I found myself questioning God. It's like, a disappointing grade is gonna throw my faith off and leave me doubtful of God? Not anymore :)

Thankyou Dawn, Ernest, Jilly, Shan and Josco for caring. I love all of you. <3
(If you've read till this point, kudos to you.)

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Hello! It's the usual annoying 3 hours of chinese every morning now and it's so pointless cause laoshi doesn't even come into class. She just dumps her truckload of work and walks out on us (not that I want to have chinese anyway). I know my chinese sucks so bad it's like gibberish but there really isn't a need for 3 hours of chinese every morning!! That makes up 15 hours of chinese a week. Oh shoot me. So anyway, we headed to the library since laoshi's not in class (I spent the past 2 days sleeping part of the 3 hours away it's getting boring). We're just too cool (who am I kidding). Ahhh it's freezinggggg I think my fingers are numb. I feel so incoherent today. But I love happy posts :)

Mmm, Chlo and I were just online shopping a while ago, going all excited and "Oh! I should get this!". HAHA like WHO online shops in school?! I love online shopping <3 but it's draining all my money awayyyyyyy and it's such a lazy way of retail therapy. Blame it on the lousy local shopping. OH CRAP, I just clicked onto something and some chinese dictionary bar thing popped up. The computer in the library's soooooo sloooooww I can't even listen to Feel Like Fame on myspace :( Anyway, "Four Letter Lie - Feel Like Fame" go listen!

Monday
We got back our physics and Emath papers and I'm not complaining :) Just that I lost about 10 marks or more cause of carelessness?!?! I'm so careless I think I'm blind. But anyway it's above 80 so it's good enough I guess? And I was so scared I'd fail physics but I didn't!! It was really shocking cause I actually improved from last year although I studied really last minute. So anyway I really have to thank God :) It surely can't be out of my own strength. I'd be NOTHING without Him around.

Town with Beu after school! I love going out with Beu alone cause she makes me smileeee. I didn't get anything much cause shopping was such a disappointment but I'm happy I caught up with Beu :) Bumped into twinnie at Guess? and it was another one of those shock-but-hilarious moments. Twinnie was saying how she first noticed me when she saw my name on my badge and thought "hey that's my twinnie!". HAHA TWINNIE YOU'RE TOO SHORT. I'm kiddinggg, you know I still love you :) Anyway I don't really like wearing my badge out of school cause it's like publicizing my name or something and it gets traumatic when people bend over to look at my badge. Oops, I left my badge at home today (teehee).

Twinnie and I settled for coffeebean and talked over coffee after. It was probably one of the best meet-ups we ever had <3 We spent two and a half hours talking about everything and I really didn't want to leave but it was getting late. We had our twinnie hug and we'll have another twinnie meet up soon! I love you so much twinnie :)

YAYE, 5 minutes till recess!! I'm so hungry I think I'm drowning in hydrochloric acid.
"I wanna hear her voice aloud. There must be a way, a way inside her heart. Celebrity, she means everything to me."

It's not like I'm unaware to your four letter lies, but I feel so weak to it. Can somebody tell me why do I even care about you?

Signing out.