i miss

you know what? it's been a long while since i've felt a genuine, lasting sense of effervesence that stems from being surrounded by people i love and doing the things i enjoy. i miss being safe and happy and secure, and just knowing that you have so many people/things in life worth being strong for and that's enough. back in those days i may not have had any particular someone to cherish and hold but friends kept me buoyant and i didn't have to account to anyone. i liked that. the part about life being excitingly technicolor; full of vibrance and vigor. now life is stale in my office cubbyhole and every night i go to sleep unhappy :( this is not to say that i'm not happy right now because i am - being with you has been amazingly out of this world. but while it's up how long can it last?