ellen kim epiphany

ellen kim in this video

this piece... it's about how i feel so alone in this world and no one can understand me, and i'm down to the lowest point... just lonely, and confused. i'm just sitting there, and finally i get the courage to pick myself up, get my chin high...(: but i look over and life's ahead of me or that person is right in front of me... i see that person and back to where i was... all the emotions come back. and i look at that person and i'm just like: "you did it again! you're able to hurt me again! Or life, you just threw that at me again..." like daamn! i'm so mad at myself, so mad that i drop myself back down and i'm sad all over again...

... it's like you feel no one in this world understands how you feel... and that's why you're so alone.

i'm gonna share a quote with you that i wrote (: it's: never forget or regret the past. live for the present and the future. create yourself, and don't ever, ever let anyone define you. you define yourself. focus and live. so just remember, mind over matter okay? (:


so i got really inspired by her video and just decided to post a bit about my feelings (: yea i guess everyone can definitely relate to what she said one way or another, it's just that you don't know how to put the situation into context or you just don't know how to get yourself out of the rut and keep moving. the past few days i've been affected by fatigue from work, and things that my friends are going through... and i think it reminded me of old insecurities and made me really weak and vulnerable? so i do things that are inappropriate and confusing and end up hurting myself. but through these, i learn more about myself each day. like whether i'm truly ready for someone. or whether i'm really happy now? what i want in my life...? at this point of time, i'm eighteen, and i have a whole life ahead of me now. i want to be strong and optimistic and accomplish many many things i know i'm capable of (: i want to dancee and love and be loved. so yea, mind over matter. hope this provided a little illumination for whoever's reading too (: peace.