i realized, after all these years, that the thing with my family still affects me a lot, even after i've tried to put an emotional distance wherever possible. and unconsciously or not, i have been bearing the burden of that hurt ever since... feels a little helpless to be dealing with this upfront but maybe i'm not alone in this? so with the support and love from all who have heard the full story,
i forgive myself. i forgive myself, van.
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haven't been able to sleep properly for the past few days :(( i take like, an hour to finally fall asleep and even after i do, i wake up ten thousand times during the night. the headaches are making me very, very grumpy rawr.
i just want a good night's rest tonight.
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jonneo: haha yeaa it is right (: