scared into, but of loneliness.

seating here alone refusing to get up. nobody to talk to, nobody for company. today feels like an aimless day, even though there are things on my agenda I still have to do.

I don't like this feeling.

sometimes I think I'm a lot more vulnerable than I look. maybe more than I should. at every criticism,  scolding and disgusted look, my emotions get riled up. and if people I love hurt me like this my impulse is to recoil inside and ferment.

I daydream / reminisce too much for my own good.