brightest little firefly

2007-06-11T22:29:00.001+08:00

cavort.tumblr.com

2007-06-07T20:38:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SORRY I JUST COULDN'T RESIST. Go becky's blog for class party photos!! Hilarious would be an understatement really.

A little preview wouldn't hurt (sorry don't kill me!!):

IZZY YOU'RE MY HEROINEEEEEEEEE :) omgoshomgosh shizzles.

Syl's the weirdest mary poppins around, fo real.

UM, SUICIDE ANYONE?

I'm out.

2007-05-31T23:10:00.000+08:00

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

Met twinnie at junction eight after her tuition and we hung around and caught up over coffee again for three hours. I loved today :) Twinnie and I made a new friend!! He's in our club yo, we so coolzzzz. I think he's called Mingming, well his mum called him that. He kept on following us and following the camera, HAHA SO CUTEEEEEE. And twinnie go slow on your stories, I can't keep up with the names!! But anyhow, I love you :)
Anyway, today in pictures! Picture post cuz I'm lazy for words:

AWWWWWWW HE'S SOOO CUTEEEE!!

Hung around with Thomas a bit and dinner before heading off to Chloe's house! Chlozybeu's desserts weren't that bad! I loved the apple crumble (that was the only thing I ate actually). The three of you make potential housewives yay. We played ps2 after, we're such ps2 and ddr junks. Anyway, I failed miserably as an ah lian cuz I'm plain hopeless with ddr. Omgosh you should've seen Raina!! Dance queen srsly.

Oh the angst.

There you go, dance queen!

Signing out, the twelveofus, with love.

xo, goodnight.

2007-05-28T19:04:00.000+08:00

Today was IB open house with part of the twelveofus! I love the campus it's so huge and homely. Mmm, I just don't think I'm up for ib cuz writing's never been my forte. But I like it in a way that it's part of my comfort zone :) I bumped into twinnie!! Sorry I left early twinnie, we couldn't go hang out at holland v but I promise we'll do our crazy things every day during src!! I can't wait till src reallyyyy :D I'm gonna cheer super loudly for you (come to think of it I've never actually watched you play and cheered for you before).

Dawn and Peter came over after to play squash and I met them at the squash courts. Haha they're sucha cute couple (in an odd way)!

Finally they seem like they're dating (or is it just me). We were sitting outside the squash courts when three really really hot boys walked past!! NO SHITE, they're like primary school and kindergarten but they're already so shizzle hottttt HA-HA. They kinda reminded me of the skinny version of Gabriel Chia and we burst out laughing but I think we scared the boy cuz he ran back to his dad and when he walked past us he was covering his face. Awww, but they're undeniably hot and they're korean! Anyway, I'm not a paedophile so I'm not interested in them in THAT way.

Peter and Dawn came up to change after. I WANTED MY NEXT BOYFRIEND TO BE THE FIRST BOY WHO EVER STEPS INTO MY HOUSE BUT PETER WANG HAD TO RUIN IT :( (whines) Let's just pretend that he's a GIRL (with permission from his girlfriend of course) and that shouldn't be something too hard.

Mmm, yesterday was confirmation! I didn't feel exceptionally excited about it, but I'm anticipating all the wonders God'll do in my life the rest of this year. I love God a lot, a lot. Thankyou everyone who came to support, the roses and cards <3 I was really touched when I read the card from my cell cuz everyone wrote in it including Lionel. It really made me miss those stupid times in junior church. Anyway I was welcomed with dubious stares and teasing when my dad saw the pink roses the moment I reached home.
Dad: Woah, where'd you get those flowers from?
Adele: Mmm, my friends gave it to me.
Dad: HAHA YOUR BOYFRIEND RIGHT.
Sure thing dad. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no boy wants your daughter :( Blame it on the genes, haha kiddingggg. Love you very much.

From laughing and crying to pain that comes easy
From shades of grey meaning that turn out so sweetly
I wonder when I wonder what I'll find,

I'm hooked onto "Automatic Loveletter - The Answer" it's loveeeeeee seriously, but I can't download it anywhere!! I think I'm loving them already.

2007-05-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

You'll be there at the right time and let me cry on you.

--

Dearest bestfriend,
I'm not okay. I'm sorry I lied to you pretending I'm all alright on the phone yesterday. It's just that, I don't know what exactly is wrong. If you want to know, I've been crying everyday since Thursday.

All the best for chinese on Monday :) I know you'll do well and I'll be praying for you!
Love, Del.

It's not even lyrics this time. I'll be okay by Monday I hope.

ps. I know you'll never read this, but thankyou JH.

2007-05-24T08:58:00.000+08:00

/edit
Today couldn't have been worse.

I got back bio and it was literally a slap in the face. I ran 5 rounds around the track to shake off the terrible feeling but it kinda made things worse cuz the moment I returned to class I found myself sitting on the floor and crying my eyes out. I just felt so weak, stupid and inadequate, it was like nobody wanted me with my current talents (if any) and results. Honestly, no sane jc would. And I felt like the class was swallowing me down whole. So it took me 5 rounds around the track and my very sore eyes before I felt that the world was a tad bit welcoming.

I was about to leave class when Ernzzz called to ask if I wanted to study with him and it was really shocking cause he couldn't have chosen a better time to call. I did nothing productive with Ernest at the library but it really made me feel a lot more at home seeing a long-time friend :) And he was extra nice today to get me whatever I requested for. Met a very worried Dawn after (I think I made her worry in the phone call) and we had one of our heart-to-heart talks at the bus stop again. DAWN CHICK SAVED ME TODAY :D

So anyway a disappointment in bio made me realise how much everyone cares for me over my grades and I really thank God for that. I was questioning God why He had put me through this the moment I saw my marks and maybe now I know the reason :) I was pretty shocked when I found myself questioning God. It's like, a disappointing grade is gonna throw my faith off and leave me doubtful of God? Not anymore :)

Thankyou Dawn, Ernest, Jilly, Shan and Josco for caring. I love all of you. <3
(If you've read till this point, kudos to you.)

----

Hello! It's the usual annoying 3 hours of chinese every morning now and it's so pointless cause laoshi doesn't even come into class. She just dumps her truckload of work and walks out on us (not that I want to have chinese anyway). I know my chinese sucks so bad it's like gibberish but there really isn't a need for 3 hours of chinese every morning!! That makes up 15 hours of chinese a week. Oh shoot me. So anyway, we headed to the library since laoshi's not in class (I spent the past 2 days sleeping part of the 3 hours away it's getting boring). We're just too cool (who am I kidding). Ahhh it's freezinggggg I think my fingers are numb. I feel so incoherent today. But I love happy posts :)

Mmm, Chlo and I were just online shopping a while ago, going all excited and "Oh! I should get this!". HAHA like WHO online shops in school?! I love online shopping <3 but it's draining all my money awayyyyyyy and it's such a lazy way of retail therapy. Blame it on the lousy local shopping. OH CRAP, I just clicked onto something and some chinese dictionary bar thing popped up. The computer in the library's soooooo sloooooww I can't even listen to Feel Like Fame on myspace :( Anyway, "Four Letter Lie - Feel Like Fame" go listen!

Monday
We got back our physics and Emath papers and I'm not complaining :) Just that I lost about 10 marks or more cause of carelessness?!?! I'm so careless I think I'm blind. But anyway it's above 80 so it's good enough I guess? And I was so scared I'd fail physics but I didn't!! It was really shocking cause I actually improved from last year although I studied really last minute. So anyway I really have to thank God :) It surely can't be out of my own strength. I'd be NOTHING without Him around.

Town with Beu after school! I love going out with Beu alone cause she makes me smileeee. I didn't get anything much cause shopping was such a disappointment but I'm happy I caught up with Beu :) Bumped into twinnie at Guess? and it was another one of those shock-but-hilarious moments. Twinnie was saying how she first noticed me when she saw my name on my badge and thought "hey that's my twinnie!". HAHA TWINNIE YOU'RE TOO SHORT. I'm kiddinggg, you know I still love you :) Anyway I don't really like wearing my badge out of school cause it's like publicizing my name or something and it gets traumatic when people bend over to look at my badge. Oops, I left my badge at home today (teehee).

Twinnie and I settled for coffeebean and talked over coffee after. It was probably one of the best meet-ups we ever had <3 We spent two and a half hours talking about everything and I really didn't want to leave but it was getting late. We had our twinnie hug and we'll have another twinnie meet up soon! I love you so much twinnie :)

YAYE, 5 minutes till recess!! I'm so hungry I think I'm drowning in hydrochloric acid.
"I wanna hear her voice aloud. There must be a way, a way inside her heart. Celebrity, she means everything to me."

It's not like I'm unaware to your four letter lies, but I feel so weak to it. Can somebody tell me why do I even care about you?

Signing out.

2007-05-20T00:02:00.000+08:00

HELLO LOVEEEEEEE :) I've been in such a good mood for the past few days, pretty worn out with the lack of sleep and I haven't headed to town yet. You should see the state of my wardrobe now, it's almost EMPTY cause I cleared it out for cash. Hohum.

"The results are out of your hands now and in God's hands and those are the best pairs of hands that you can put your worries in."
Thankyou Beu.

So yesterday was Spiderman 3 with Dawnchick. The original plan was to bring Andus out but he fell so sick he couldn't go :( And I wished Peter was there cause Dawn was so scared throughout the entire two half hours she kept grabbing my hand which gave me a shock too and she had to use her jacket to cover her eyes.

We bummed around after, had a late lunch before having our heart-to-heart talk at the bus stop. And I literally bumped into Thomas while walking, it was quite a shock-but-hilarious moment. Btw, DAWNCHICK I'm never ever going out with you again if you're gonna go "OMGOSH OMGOSH" in the middle of nowhere!! We waited for Peter at the bus stop before I headed home with him, cause Dawn REFUSED to let me abandon her boyfriend and leave him looking like a loner. (WELLLL, I can't help it if you have a loner boyfriend right. HAHA.)

Mmm, I was supposed to have supper with Thomas but decided not to cause he was with his friends and I was so tired I fell asleep at an unearthly 10.30pm.

Thank You God for showing me so much more of You during the exams and slowly but carefully guiding me towards the place You want me to go. You've truely been an amazing God and I'm so glad you chose me as Your kid. It's always times like these that make me feel I don't deserve Your love at all. Please forgive me for the times when I kept on asking from You but never returned anything. I couldn't have done it without you, Daddy in heaven. I love You always.

Xoxo.

2007-05-17T12:39:00.002+08:00

Happy Mothers' Day mum :)
I was supposed to wake up half an hour earlier yesterday to finish up Amath, but I wasn't in the mood at all and I had this crazy idea of ordering macs breakfast for my mum as a mothers' day surprise (and while I'm at it, for my dad too). So I googled for macs delivery's number at 5.40am (HAHA I know what a loser right. WELL I'm sorry I don't eat macs.) and ordered breakfast for my parents! They were so surprised that my mum left me a msg on my phone,
"it was indeed a pleasant surprise this morning with the macs breakfast. thanks for your thoughts. what prompted you to do so and why? we are just curious. love mum & dad."
Hahah I think they thought I did something devastatingly wrong and was desperately trying to lessen the guilt. It's actually these sweet little things that keep me going, I love my parents <3

Did the usual 2.4km after Amath paper and dropped by KAP to get flowers for my mum before heading home. I know I'm really really late, but I'm glad you liked the surprise mum.

PS. Shutup I know I look like a lard ball but hey, I was happy.

--

On a separate note, SWEET LIBERTY IN LESS THAN NO TIME. You have no idea how badly I need retail therapy!! I've been clearing out my closet so much that it's almost empty now, mm.. but it doesn't matter cause I can always depend on my bank account :) Okay fine I admit, I can't wait till tomorrow!!!!!! Post-exam to-do list <3

I'm walking blind into your arms
(She changes your mind)

2007-05-15T13:14:00.000+08:00

Sorry, but I need to rant so bad. I felt so helpless doing the bio paper I wasn't sure if I should laugh at my lack of intelligence or cry at the rate I was heading to insanity. I just felt so drained and so sore after the paper, thinking about it hurts. Ahhhhhhh HOWWW :(

I feel horrible and I'm gonna sleep this feeling off.

2007-05-14T14:32:00.000+08:00

Four more days! I can't wait till exams are over cause I've so much stuff left undone, which includes celebrating Mothers' Day. But I still love you mum! <3

Thank You God for pulling me through three weeks of studying, a week and a day of exams with the strength, courage, peace and clarity of mind when I need it most. Thank You for giving me a place to hide when I'm too tired to face the world, and for being with me forever. Amen.

--

Meet my fairly odd fairy godparents. They really look good together, no? If only they were mmhm.

It'll be sleep and Biology after. So cyah.
(I'll give up on this, I'll give up on you.)

2007-05-13T03:23:00.000+08:00

Blame it on the exam blues, I've been having major moodswings and the last one had me discarding my books for two whole days. Pretty strange how I don't feel the urgency to study anymore. So much for stressing over flunking mid-years huh. At least the heavy papers are over. So retail therapy it is!

Thank you twelveofus for the messages, notes and group prayers. I love our group prayers, it's really sweet <3 I feel like a slug for taking all the notes and not contributing. Mrs Choo's notes really worked wonders, for someone who only started studying for SS the MORNING before the exam. Okay don't shoot me. Not forgetting bestfriend for being extra supportive (YOU'RE THE BEST JINGGG <3) and everyone who cared.

Because slept the day away, say hello 3.25am.
1. I think Zara's photoshoots are wayy better than their collections. Zara.com, check it.
2. I think "Infinity On High" is Fall Out Boy's best album by far.
3. My hair looks / feels like shite :(

"Funeral For A Friend - Walk Away" on playback.

--

I don't care for your sweet scent, or the way you want me more than I want you. I don't need your frivolity, save it for your other girls. Romeo's bleeding to death.

I don't want a Romeo.

2007-05-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

;olasdhfl;ahsgnbl;ajefohwogwraigh;owarihga;oasdfasdfasdfsdfasfasf
irhfgndibanvo;awrhgliawtrjga;owrhitpoirgja;wsldjf

SO ANNOYED SO ANNOYED SO ANNOYED SO ANNOYED SO ANNOYED SO ANNOYED SO ANNOYED. SO MALIGNED SO MALIGNED SO MALIGNED SO MALIGNED. MALIGNED. Who are you to -- URGHHHHHH.

2007-05-09T14:57:00.000+08:00

I saw the beauty in the breakdown.

Mid-years hadn't been good. But, what if I did badly? It's always the "but"s and "what if"s that hurt the most. Then again, .

The only thing I want to do right now is lie on your shoulder and stay still for a bit, listening to the breeze and your heartbeat in-between. You'll hold my heavy heart against yours and stop time for a while. Because you keep me alive and you keep me safe. But who are you?

2007-05-06T20:39:00.000+08:00

Something that'll last for forever and a day.

2007-04-28T23:45:00.000+08:00

The boy who kissed her in the rain,

--

I was reading through Izzy's entry when nostalgia kicked in. I guess everyone has dreams, of how they'd like to fall in love just the way they thought it'd be, to be head over heels in love, or maybe have someone to protect them and catch them when they fall. But it never happened. Honestly speaking (touchy topic here), I don't think I ever was head over heels in love before. I always secretly wish I could be a piece of blank paper, meet my first, get head over heels in love and maybe we can last forever. But I know in me, love is a mess of lines scribbled across blank paper in ink -- irreversable, messed up, ugly, ashamed of, disposed of, you get the drift.

I keep my dreams alive because I'd like to hold the hope that someday it just may happen. I contemplate if I should live and breathe Izzy's love story and be happy in that way, if only things were that simple. Because dreams keep me safe.

Someday, I'll meet the boy who'll make me forget the ugliness in my past. Feels like the more I reveal the more vulnerable I feel (yeah I get that too Izzy). Maybe I'll know when he comes, maybe I won't, till the day the he comes. Or maybe, he won't come at all.

This has gotta be the most personal public entry ever.

--

like he meant it.

2007-03-30T20:15:00.000+08:00

It's in your eyes where I find peace, don't look away.

"Just because you were hurt, doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed. I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need. And if it's a hero you want, I can save you. Just stay here. Your whispers are priceless. So please stay near. If I asked you to stay, would you tell me you would be mine? You've been crying too long and your tears wrote this song, stay. "

xoxo.